I Know, Daddy!
Eavesdroppers hear no good of themselves, so the saying goes. I'm not one to deliberately listen
in on conversations, but sometimes at the local coffee shop or at Panera, if they're talking
loudly at the next table, I can't help but overhear. Occasionally I'll accidently catch the eye of
the speaker, and I try to smile crookedly in apology, or I affirm what they said by a nod and a
wink. Even more occasionally, I'll comment. A person at the table next to me last week was
talking about the streaming show, The Chosen, and I echoed his sentiment that it was excellent.
He nodded back at me, and I quickly returned to my non-eavesdropping posture of earbuds and
computer work.
I can't remember ever a time when I actually heard someone talking about me, although I've
rehearsed what I would say if I did. Have you ever done that? Made up conversations, prepared
just in case you were walking down the hall, heard your name and then you'd be ready to
defend your honor or put those backbiters in their place? No? Just me? Just because you're
paranoid doesn't mean they're not really after you, right?
I always notice the body language between parents and teens. You can tell when a parent is
trying to impart wisdom to their teenage offspring. Sometimes the finger comes out... you
know, the pointing finger of death that says, "You're gonna listen, missy, or I'll know the
reason why!" At that point you know the conversation is going to go one of three ways: the
contrite, down-look of the compliant teen that says, "I'm sorry; I'll try to do better," or the "I
may just break that finger off if you get too close" rebellion, or the one I'm most familiar with,
the conciliatory, "OK, Daddy," and "I know, Daddy," which guarantees the kid will do what
she wants and is just agreeing to get the parent off her back.
I can remember from my own teenage years, well into young adulthood, I'm sure, that my
parents would tell me that certain behaviors would produce certain results, and I always agreed
with them! "I know, Mom." "I know, Daddy." And then I still went down the awkward path of
learning the hard way. Why is it we are so resistant to wisdom at that age?
Why are we resistant to wisdom at any age? As an adult, I find myself in an "I know, Daddy"
frame of mind. Have you noticed it in your adulting? Your parenting? In your business? As a
leader?
Usually, it takes that sort of hopelessly stuck feeling to make me start questioning my modus
operandi. Uh oh! The weight has started creeping up and my clothes are too tight. So I think to
myself, "I better start being more careful about what I eat, and not neglecting my walking every
day." Sure. Sure. That's what I need to do! "I know, Daddy." And the very same day, I'll buy
cookies-and-cream ice cream while at the grocery store and a pack of Hershey's kisses, piled on
top of my salad fixin's. When I get home, I settle onto the couch to binge the latest episode of
Jack Ryan on Amazon Prime rather than walking the half mile of my driveway.
Oh, dear! Why am I a little short of the money before the end of the month? I used the envelope
system to manage before and that worked! I should do that again. And I spend money to
purchase a pretty set of envelopes that I label with lovely stickers, and then I never put money
IN the envelopes to manage, relying instead on my debit card, and losing track of every penny I
spend. I can see Dave Ramsey putting his face in his palm and shaking his head. "I know,
Daddy. I know."
We do it in business, too. Gee, my sales are down this month. I moan about the economy and
the competition, and how it's just not like it used to be... whenever that was. All that may be
true, but what is wisdom, is that my sales are a reflection of my actions. Maybe I should look at
my activity for the month? I should contact my customers, provide value for them, get back on
their radar, and-here's a thought-ask them if they need products or services! I know, Daddy.
I know. And still, I fail to launch.
We do a lot of talking about what we need to do. And studies reveal that talking about it gives
us the hit of dopamine that actually doing it gives us. Proverbs 14:23 tells us that "All hard
work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty." We love to talk about our hindrances,
affirming them every time we say things like... "I'm such a procrastinator!" "I need to get my
butt in gear!" "I need to manage my time and money better." All the while, by our actions we
are asserting that we can continue on the current trajectory, the usual path, and things will turn
out differently.
Which is, of course, the definition of insanity.
The writer of most of the Proverbs you read in Scripture is King Solomon, son of David, and he
is considered the wisest person who ever lived. In both his personal and professional life,
however, he was often less than wise, and I believe he would have echoed the "I know, Daddy"
pattern of behavior. Solomon reigned in Israel for forty years. His son, Rehoboam, succeeded
him as king. After his coronation, the people came to Rehoboam to ask him if he would lighten
the tax load that Solomon had put upon them to build the Temple, fortify the kingdom, and
become one of the greatest kingdoms of the ancient world.
They said, "Your father put a heavy yoke on us, and now lighten the harsh labor and the heavy
yoke he put on us, and we will serve you." Rehoboam answered, "Come back to me in three
days." So the people went away. Then, King Rehoboam consulted the elders who had served his
father Solomon during his lifetime. "How would you advise me to answer these people?" He
asked. (2 Chronicles 10:4-7). Sounds good, doesn't it? He's getting started well, asking for
advice, trying to make a good decision. The elders tell Rehoboam that if he'll give the people a
favorable answer and be kind to them, they'll serve him faithfully.
Aaaaand Rehoboam decided that wasn't the answer he was looking for, because he then
consulted his young rowdy friends. These were guys he grew up with and who served him, and
they told him to say this to the people: "My little finger is thicker than my father's waist. My
father laid on you a heavy yoke, I will make it even heavier. My father scourged you with
whips; I will scourge you with scorpions." (2 Chronicles 10:10-11)
One of the best pieces of advice I've ever received is "Do not take advice from someone who
hasn't walked in your shoes nor in the shoes you're getting ready to try on or to wear."
Everybody has an opinion. Only take counsel from people who have the wisdom gained from
God or experience or age, preferably all three. The young hooligans that Rehoboam consulted
didn't know anything about being a king. They grew up with him, and Scripture says they
served him, so they weren't even in the same world as he. They probably enjoyed the benefits
of serving the king's son, but they had no leadership experience, no idea how to deal with a
kingdom. They were servants, hangers on, eager to say what he wanted to hear.
The people returned, and scripture says Rehoboam rejected the advice of the elders, and he gave
the people the words of his Rowdy Boys and as a result, the people rebelled, and Israel was
divided into Northern and Southern kingdoms.
My own lack of attentiveness to wisdom will likely not result in the fall of a nation. But it's no
less catastrophic for my potential to make money for my family, to grow my platforms, to reach
people with the good news of the Kingdom of God.
Because I am a coach, I myself meet with a coach a couple of times a month. I know the value
of accessing wisdom and accountability as I work on my goals. She and I talked last week about
the latest strategies that would benefit my vision and business, and I am resistant. I don't like
the work that is required... It's not difficult, and it doesn't require that much energy and time.
Especially once the strategy is put into motion.
But it requires that I step outside my comfort zone to do things I don't feel like I'm good at. I
don't like how I look on camera. I don't enjoy creating social media content. I don't feel in
control when I have to trust other people, so I'm extremely resistant to delegation. She tells me,
"Mary Lou, if you want to see growth, if you want to generate more income, these are the
things that will help."
What am I paying her for, anyway? To tell me what I want to hear? Or to increase my potential
by identifying blind spots, growing in my strengths, and overcoming barriers to my success? If
I'm not willing to receive her wisdom, and put it into action, I'm a fool and I'm wasting the
money I'm investing in myself.
Rehoboam should have listened to the elders and to his daddy, who wrote, "Listen to advice and
accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future. Proverbs 18:20 and 19:20. So
important was this kernel of wisdom, that it's in there twice!
By insolence comes nothing but strife, but with those who take advice is wisdom. Proverbs
13:10. Rehoboam's insolence toward the people wrecked the kingdom.
The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice. Proverbs 12:15.
As I'm walking out the door of Panera, my coach is volleying parting shots... "You know what
you need to do!"
"I know, Daddy! I know!" I retort back at her. She laughs at me, knowing the story of the
words, knowing I'll kick myself in the pants and start wrapping my mind around my next steps.
It's not enough to know. I must also DO.
What about you? What are you next steps? What do you know needs to be done? But you keep
waiting, and going through the motions, or repeating old patterns that do not work for you. It's
not enough to know. You must also DO!
And if you don't know, be wise enough to seek counsel, A mentor, a coach, someone who is
where you want to be... these are people who have walked where you want to walk, and they
can give you instruction. "I know. I know," you say. Don't wait for your kingdom to fall to
make it happen.
Father,
Wisdom comes from You, and You give it generously to any who will ask. I pray for your
wisdom, Lord, but not just to know it, but also to do it. I think of the words of James: to those
who know to do good and don't do it, it's sin! Lord, it is a good thing to grow and develop what
you've given me. It is good to seek counsel and accountability. I pray for the courage to both
know and do, and in all things, may I never say by my actions, "I know, Daddy. I know." Help
me match my walk and my talk. In Jesus' name, Amen.
